i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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