There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
