I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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