I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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