So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
she pinky promised me she was 18
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
3 2 1 whiskey
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
