Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
