2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
