i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
This baby is an asshole
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
