No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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