Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
