I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
