Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
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