Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
