In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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