His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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