Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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