she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
my sisters under your porch take her home
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
