Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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