Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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