does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Randomize
