whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
