I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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