So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize