what day is it and did you see me today?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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