I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Randomize
