Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Your shirt... Was in my pants
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
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