we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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