He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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