it wasn't lemon gatorade
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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