i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
