I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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