you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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