she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
