Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
pop tarts are not kleenex
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
