she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
We had sex on a dog bed..
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
