Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
