You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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