You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
