SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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