Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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