i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
