it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
