I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Randomize
