And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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