Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
