drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize