So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
