you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
