When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize