I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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