after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
