I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
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