I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
My balls are so social today.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
