He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
