just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Your cock deserves a montage
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
