at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
i out mim tonsoeep
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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