i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
