i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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