Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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