If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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